What’s wrong with me? I’m 40, and I feel like a loser because I think I should be much further ahead by now.
Do you ever get caught up in this evil, torturing thought?
Maybe you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s, and you feel that you are well behind your friends or work colleagues. You have a vision for your life. You work hard; however, you can’t help yourself to feel behind.
You see your friends having a great social life, getting promotions, travelling to Paris, getting married, losing 43 lbs, looking fabulous and happy, etc.
You can’t help feeling empty, desperate, and hopeless. You want to know how to help yourself and stop feeling jealous of other people’s success.
There is just one problem …
You will find a way to diminish yourself.
Do you feel that your achievements are not a big deal?
Do you feel that what you’ve achieved in your life is not good enough?
If the answer is yes, then, my friend, you are already diminishing yourself.
That’s okay! Awareness is the first step to changing what is not working.
Congratulations! Now you know what keeps you stuck in that creepy feeling of hopelessness.
Now, this is important …
You are not alone in this. Every person I know struggled with this feeling, including me.
That’s normal because we compare with other people, looking at their social media posts and seeing only one side of their life. Very often, people are not as happy and fulfilled as they might portray themselves.
You can trust me on this.
The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow. – Robert Tew – Writer
Do you feel that there is no way you can stop comparing yourself to others?
Fortunately, there’s a simple solution …
The good news is that it’s not that complicated to shift your thinking, as you might think.
Here’s how it works:
1) Embrace Your Life Path
You made the best choices you could. Embrace the detours because they are your gold mine. You are richer in your experiences. You gained more wisdom.
Remember, you are precisely where you need to be at this moment.
Your career and life path are unique and are not the same as your friends’ or colleagues’ paths.
Trust that every experience taught you something you need to know right now.
2) Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
That’s easier to say than do.
Comparing yourself to other people (especially if you don’t know behind the scenes story) is a form of self-sabotage. It will destroy you.
You are experiencing a comparison hangover, and that’s what makes you feel you should be further ahead by now. You can compare only to yourself and no one else.
Comparison is a thief of your joy and happiness.
I know what you’re thinking…
“Romana, how can I stop comparing myself to others?”
5 Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
1) Do Social Media Detox
If you want to feel better about yourself, stop looking at people you compare yourself to.
2) Practice Self-Compassion
You can say to yourself something like, “I feel desperate, empty, and hopeless when I compare myself to XYZ. That’s very normal. I choose to embrace my path.”
Find your own words that make you feel good about yourself.
3) Rehearse This
Keep rehearsing: “I’m precisely where I need to be right now.”
4) Focus on The Solution
Now, redirect your focus and energy from comparison to taking actions towards your dreams. What is a one-step you can do right now towards your #1 goal?
5) Bonus Tips
- If you often experience paralysis by analysis, read The # 1 Decision Mistake Perfectionist Make and How You Can Avoid It, now!
If you want to feel fulfilled, cheerful, and optimistic, then you need to implement the steps above immediately!
Where focus goes, energy flows.
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